SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cat food counts as protein by the way
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pee on everything he values.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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