he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
