i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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