O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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