i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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