I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
