dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
