The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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