White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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