Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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