You just made me feel so damn special
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
