I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
