I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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