and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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