Buhtt sex?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
