Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
