Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
