when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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