Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize