see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Randomize
