Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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