she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
