I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
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And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
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Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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