I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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