The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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