i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
