im holly from the hills drunk
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
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He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
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Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
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