i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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