I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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