Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
