put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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