Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
