she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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