I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
