i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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