is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
