He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
