What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
