Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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