what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
