Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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