sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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