And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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