She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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