It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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