Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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