I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
