would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
