Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
