...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
There's even glitter on my cock...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
