Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
