literally had 100 drinks last night.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
3 2 1 whiskey
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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