i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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