Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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