why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
