even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
