dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
