Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
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