Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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