We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
