Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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