That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
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I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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